Women constantly wonder what to do when a man becomes distant. When a man seems withdrawn, no matter how hard you try to get close to him, you often feel like things are getting worse instead of better. However, there are some very definite steps you can take to bring your man closer to you instead of pushing him further. And isn’t this what you really want to happen?
So what is your best course of action when a man seems distant, inattentive, and withdrawn? Simply put, often our first instinct is to try to “talk” to our man about whatever is “bothering” him. Then we began to vocalize the dreaded prayer to a man: “We need to talk.” This honestly makes him stray further because he feels your need. Now, you may be thinking, what is there to need in wanting to know what is wrong with him? The answer is not one that you can easily understand, but it is one that you must begin to accept if you are going to attract a man in the long run. Every time his feelings depend on what he feels, the man begins to perceive it as a need. In other words, if when a man becomes distant, you start to feel anxious and insecure, he begins to think that your happiness depends on him doing or saying certain things. This makes him feel obligated and, believe it or not, even trapped. I know, I know, sometimes it’s hard to rationalize how simply wanting to talk about what’s bothering you could cause you to experience these feelings, but unfortunately, that’s exactly what happens.
So, knowing all this, what should you do? First, keep calm, peace, and happiness. This may seem easier said than done, but with a little practice, it is something you can learn to do without much effort. Take your attention away from him and his problems and start focusing on your life and what makes you happy. You’ve probably been so involved with him and the relationship that you’ve started to ignore some hobbies or friends. This is a good time to re-tune in to your friends and your hobbies and start feeling like “yourself” again instead of being someone who is constantly waiting to see what you are going to do.
If he doesn’t call you, doesn’t ask you out, and has basically stopped all contact, let him be. This is difficult, but it is doable if you remain determined to let him solve his own problems. When a man becomes distant, don’t text, call, or ask what’s wrong with him. There is a time to express you, but not until you return. And while your biggest fear is that it’s gone forever, chances are, it isn’t. Often times when a man becomes distant, it is one of the highest compliments a woman can receive. If you’ve been dating a man and everything has gone well, but he suddenly withdraws, it is very likely that he is trying to control his emotions. When a man begins to care a lot about a woman, he often backs off so that he can regain control of his emotions. In other words, you’ve made a big impact on him and he feels a little out of control when he’s with you. The only way he knows to regain control is to get away from you. Most of the time, after a little distance, it will come back. And the good news is, if you manage this period away effectively, he will be more in love with you than when he left.
This seems a bit hard to believe, but men have verified it time and time again and women who have let him get through these emotional moments on his own have often found that he always comes back. Now the big question is after a man becomes distant, what should he do when he comes back? This is the time when you can have a conversation that expresses some of your feelings.
There are actually two ways to deal with your return, and your own particular situation will really determine which method might be the most effective. If you’ve only withdrawn for a short period of time and this is the first time you’ve done so, and you’ve indeed waited until you’ve renewed contact, then one of the best responses is to act as if you barely knew that you were gone. This can be difficult to do, but learn to “fake it until you make it.” For example, if you call and seem a bit apologetic and say something like, “I’m sorry I didn’t call for a while. I’ve been too busy with work, yada, yada, yada,” then you should say something. like, “Oh, how long has it been? I’ve been feeling so excited lately with my new yoga class (or whatever interests you) that I haven’t had time to think about anything else.” Then expand on this and tell her how good it “feels”. Notice that you are speaking in sentiment messages, not thought messages. This keeps you in your feminine mode.
Now let’s say a man has become distant and hasn’t contacted you for a month. After a while, he calls and seems to think that he can come back into your life like nothing happened. Or maybe you’ve done it once or twice before. It is never acceptable for a man to play with your emotions, but we do not want to tell him this, we want to “show” him that it is unacceptable. There are a couple of ways to do this.
First, it shouldn’t be immediately available when he calls. If you call today, wait a day or two before calling back. If you call and don’t leave a message asking you to call back, don’t. A missed call is just that, it is not a callback request. After waiting for the right amount of time to call him back, be happy when you talk to him. However, when you ask to meet, be unavailable the first time and say something like, “I would have loved to go to the game with you on Friday, but I already have plans. How about we meet on Wednesday?” ? “
When they get together, they might just say something like, “I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but it makes me uncomfortable when I don’t hear from you for long periods of time. Unappreciated when you do this. ? “She hasn’t reprimanded him for his actions. You just said how you feel. And it has put the problem in your hands so that you can “think” of a solution. Your job as a woman is to feel and your job as a man is to think.
Follow these simple steps when a man becomes distant and finds that he begins to be much more open and to talk to you about many things in his life. As tough as these steps may seem at first, they are worth it when you experience the results brought about by such actions.