Kayastha are a Hindu ethnic subcaste and they are the only ones who are Brahmins and Kshatriyas. Traditionally, writing is the basic profession of the Kayastha people. They deeply believe in their cultural heritage and marry within their community. The Kayastha wedding ceremony is carried out with grandeur and much pomp and show. Generally there is an arranged marriage that occurs with the consent of the elders between the girl and the boy. The celebrations begin with the engagement ceremony where the bride-to-be and groom exchange rings at the bride’s house or at some other location. The father of the bride then presents a gift to members of the groom’s family, as well as his close relatives, in what is popularly known as a milni ceremony. The bride’s family also sends a large bucket of fruit, sweets, and clothes to the groom’s house.
The auspicious date for the wedding is then finalized by consulting an astrologer, after which the wedding preparations begin. The guest list is exchanged between both families so that the arrangement can be made accordingly. Generally, each guest is given a gift known as a ‘sobha’. The days between the engagement and the marriage are known as the courtship period in which the bride and groom try to get to know each other better and feel comfortable with each other’s family members.
Among Kayastha, wedding celebrations start with bhat nyotna, which is held 2-3 days before the marriage. On this occasion, the grandparents and uncles on the bride’s mother’s side visit and bless her granddaughter at her wedding and present her with her gifts. After this, the invitation letter is distributed to all relatives on the maternal side.
One day before the wedding day, the mehndi ceremony is applied on the hands of the bride/groom and other close female relatives. While the mehndi is being applied, the day is celebrated with lots of dancing and music.
On the wedding day, the Kayastha bride wakes up early in the morning and visits the temple to preach and receive Goddess Parvati’s blessings and wishes for a happy married life in the future. After this Haldi ceremony, the paste of turmeric powder along with besan is applied on the body of the bride/groom. Then they both take a bath in their respective homes and dress up in their traditional wedding attire.
During this time, the bride’s brother pays a visit to apply tilak to the groom’s forehead and bring gifts for the groom’s family. The groom then leaves with the baraat, which is a wedding procession that begins at the groom’s house. He is seated on a decorated horse or carriage and goes to the bride’s house or wedding place together with his relatives with drums and instruments playing at all times. In Indian marriages, the bride and groom upon arrival at the venue are greeted by relatives on the bride’s side by placing garlands around their necks and showering them with perfume and flowers. Cookies are also popped at most weddings.
After the arrival, the groom performs the puja, after which he walks onto the stage. The bride enters and the two exchange garlands in much celebration while the young people fervently shout in support of the bride and groom. After this, they return again to the entrance where the baahar-ke-phere ritual is performed in which the groom is asked to stand on a stool (chowki) and the maternal uncle supports the bride and goes three times around the groom while the pundit chants a few mantras
The bride and groom are then seated side by side in a mandap and are made to take vows that they will take responsibility for the other and remain faithful for life. Both parents perform their duties as the pundit chants mantras and the couple circles the fire seven times, after which they are formally declared a married couple. The life ceremony follows when the bride leaves her parents’ house and enters her husband’s house.