Yesterday I received an email from one of my clients who was clearly in crisis because he was at the wrong job. His ADD symptoms continue to spiral out of control and are affecting not only his work, but those around him as well. He is at the beginning of his process and he doesn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel yet (but he will). See if this doesn’t resonate with you:
- You don’t feel like you “fit in” with your work environment
- you make mistakes
- You say the wrong things or are speechless when you need to talk
- You can feel the spiraling effect of those around you losing confidence in your abilities.
- You punish yourself and “feel stupid” because you can’t seem to do it “right.”
- You think if you work harder, everything will work out
- Can’t process information and connect to work tasks fast enough
- You are working in a “cube” and miserable
Interestingly, virtually all of these symptoms disappear or lessen when we are in the right job or career for us.
But, if you’re in the wrong job and you know deep down that this is true, here are some tips to help you manage where you are today:
- Negativity CAN be handled. We all have negative thoughts because most of us grew up with them. For us ADders, it’s natural to go to the dark side because we think so fast and are literally bombarded with thousands of thoughts every minute.
- First warning when negative thinking occurs. try noticing for the next hour, or for the next few minutes if you are easily distracted.
- When a negative thought comes to mind, just notice it and wish it well (I know this sounds crazy, but it works).
- So let it go.
- Say to yourself, “hmmm, that’s interesting,” or “here goes another one.”
- Now, you can DECIDE to focus on one thing that makes you feel good, like your supportive spouse, your child’s smile, your friend who is always there to cheer you on, or the ONE THING you really enjoy about the work you’re doing. now, even if it’s small, like answering emails or eating at a great restaurant near your workplace.
- If that doesn’t work, intensify the thought until it’s almost overwhelming and it will dissipate, then send light to it and let it go.
- Now, think of one good thing about your JOB today, one thing you like to do and do well. It doesn’t mean you should stay at that job, just look at the parts of the job, no matter how small, that you actually make work, understand, and get even a small amount of joy or interest from.
- For at least an hour during the day, focus on the positive aspects of your job or the job you are doing now. This isn’t always easy, so take three long breaths and exhale slowly and clear your mind.
- Here is the most important advice: STOP ABUSING YOURSELF. It doesn’t work for you. These auto-attacks only draw more of the same to you.
- Now acknowledge if there is a difference and express appreciation and gratitude for everything you can about their work, no matter how small.
Remember, you are in the wrong job if all or most of the bullet points at the beginning of this post are true for you. She used to think that she was “stupid” because it seemed like she couldn’t copy things properly as a secretary. But the truth is that I am brilliant at the work that I do now, I love it and I see it as a gift every day.